jueves, 23 de abril de 2009

Merengón

Por fin, damas y caballeros, niños y niñas, acá está el video más esperado por todos los golosos:



La producción tardó 16 meses (sí, dieciséis, no uno ni dos; y sí, meses, no semanas ni días). Y no fue precisamente por su complejidad técnica: la velocidad del lipsync es un truco bastante simple, el verdadero problema fue la falta de presupuesto, que obligó al equipo a trabajar gratis –incluyendo a la cámara y El Naranjo, el flamante Renault 4 nacido en 1978 en Soacha–, con la evidente consecuencia de retrasar toda la producción por varias semanas cada vez que alguno de los astros se desalineaba. Cuando la cámara no estaba alquilada, sucedía que María Paula tenía que trabajar o que El Naranjo estaba en el taller o que Vallejo y Cuervo estaban ligeramente alicorados o, en su defecto, Chilango estaba enguayabado.
Incluso, mi guía espiritista y esotérico de cabecera (la cerveza) llegó a hablar de “la maldición del merengón”, que no es la indigestión por comer postres hostigantes sino una serie de eventos infortunados que incluyeron un ligero accidente automovilístico y la escasez de merengones un domingo en Bogotá, entre otras desgracias que no se derivaban de la falta de presupuesto. Y, aunque todos los actores han conseguido trabajos muy bien remunerados en la redacción de revistas de narquitectura, la digestión cultural y la jefatura de prensa en emisoras pagadas por Uribe, los dos idiotas detrás de las cámaras no hemos conseguido más que pequeños contratos, facturando apenas para sobrevivir en el mágico mundo del cuentacobrismo con la consabida retención en la fuente, la copia por duplicado –inspiración de la pegajosa frase “dos merengones por mil”– y el cheque cruzado que se entrega únicamente los viernes de 4 a 4:15 PM.
Sin embargo, qué rico este merengón: Julián Correcha de Velouria TV finalizó mi tercer video (los otros dos están acá, aunque tengo que mejorarles la resolución ahora que YouTube lo permite). Hay que aclarar que es el primero que realizo en acción real gracias a la infinita ayuda de Carlos Cuervo, Carlos Mario Muñoz y Carlos Vallejo (para no alargar la lista con otros Carlos y otros nombres). La mayor lección de “Merengón” es que la inexperiencia se improvisa.
Parece una oda al mal gusto, pero “Merengón” es un sentido homenaje al humor del Show de Jimmy y los Meros Recochamboys. Espero que para mi próximo video se aumente el reparto de celebridades (gracias, Simona) y se baje aún más el nivel de la producción: hasta que uno no toca fondo, no sabe lo que es caer bajo.
Para terminar, el prominente blog La noche de los tajalápices tiene abierto un concurso: quien encuentre más goofs en “Merengón”, ganará un merengón de guanábana y participará en la rifa de un viaje en El Naranjo desde su parqueadero hasta su próxima varada.

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